Before Twelfh Night...

...I had not admitted yet that something inevitably broke when you stayed and I did not and the being that you did not care about the pieces nor the object before it broke and now rather that picking up and sweaping the shattered glass we have rather ignored completely the existence of the vase -because, because a vase is a lame object after all? - but I'm cutting the skin of my feet and I certainly do not like bleeding and you certainly do not like stains on the carpet but I blamed you when it was my fault and I blamed myself when it was yours so Laurent had to die, he had to die because you would not and I do not desire to go before you do, so Laurent was the unfair, not sufficient, unproporciate scape goat that stands for (_________) it's funny how the previous one was for you as well even though it was for her too and so many months before who would have thought that Amsterdam was that pub really where I do not remember if I drank something or not
I admit it now, it broke, and it's been a month or two since Ash Wednesday and a week or two since I decided to erase the grey cross from my forehead, it should have never been there, because I am not sorry, I hate that it had to break but there's no more regret than the one I feel for even being sorry about the whole thing.